The Cycle of an Indie Novelist
By Addison Kline
So you’ve got an idea that you’re excited about. You think it would make a really awesome book and you have to write it down. Who knows where this will lead, but so far so good, right?
This book is going to be EPIC!
You begin writing your story. Every day. Type type type…Click clack click clack
OMG I am a literary genius!
You begin to fall in love with your characters and you feel like you know them.
I can’t pick a favorite… I love them ALL!
Suddenly, a little thing called a plot trips you up. After all, your book would be pretty pointless without one. At this point, you have to make things happen to your beloved characters. Potentially bad things….
What is happening…
You sit and ponder the plot twists in your head, and try to bulk up the courage to write them. You hate torturing your characters, but the story has to be interesting, right? Right.
I’m playing God with these poor imaginary people.
Finally, you bite the bullet and begin putting your plot into action. It twists and the results surprise even you.
Holy crap! Plot twist!
Then something begins to happen. Your characters take on a mind of their own…
How dare they betray my rules!
But you realize, wait… Maybe they are on to something…
So this is what the Twilight Zone looks like…
With your characters doing as they please, you are busier than ever
Let’s do this!
You finish your first draft. You’re ecstatic.
It’s done! I did it!
Time to type that bad boy up…
NYT Best Seller List… Here I come!
You select a group of people you know to beta read your pride and joy… Often this group is comprised of your mother, your sister, and several close friends.
Behold… Your beta reading dream team!
Your readers LOVE your book. You’re starting to get REALLY excited.
I’m GOING to sell a million copies!
The next thing you must do is find a good editor.
Oh, wait.. There he is.
Oh, hello, to the person that will desecrate my beloved manuscript with evil red ink.
You sent your manuscript off to the editor. And you must wait.
And wait…
And wait! (MWAHAHAHAHA)
Then finally, you get an email back. It’s from the editor!!! Your manuscript is fully edited. You couldn’t be more excited.
You open the attachment, and you are shocked… no… APPALLED by the amount of red desecrating your beloved book.
HOW DARE THEY!
But then you start to read it… and you realize. Oh, this does sound much better and you begin to relax.
Next, you send your book off to be formatted. And you wait…
And wait…
And WAIT….
And then you receive an email from your book formatter and cover designer. The book is done! It looks fabulous! NYT Best Seller List here I come!
You upload the book to a variety of websites including Createspace, KDP, Nook Press and Smashwords.
Prior to pressing the publish button, you have a minor heart attack or a major anxiety attack. Take your pick.
You ask your friends. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!
They convince you to push publish. “You’ve come this far…” And you do. You push publish and the world did not end!
And now you wait…
And wait….
LONGEST 12-24 hours EVER!!!!
Then you get an email. The book is LIVE!
OMG. People are really going to read this?!
With time, you learn to relax. You stop freaking out so much. Reviews begin to trickle in.
Review Reactions as expressed by Jennifer Lawrence:
5 star reaction
4 star reaction
3 star reaction
2 star reaction
1 star reaction
Eventually you decide, you don’t care what any critic says. You’re a published author, and they’re NOT!
-The End-
All gifs are from Tumblr.
We own nothing but the words.
I know writing a book is HARD, but this post was HILARIOUS! Well done!
All the more reason I admire authors!
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